Strong Leaders Introduction

If you lead. you’re being graded whether you know it or not.
In my work as a leadership coach, I’ve led hundreds of people through a simple exercise - I ask them to think of a specific person that they consider the most effective leader they had interacted with at any point in their lives, and we then categorized them as “Leader A.”

And then I followed with a similar question asking them to think of the most ineffective leader that they could recall and categorize them as “Leader B.”

I can tell you that most people’s reactions to these questions were animated, telling, and nearly instantaneous.

People would recall the action of a teacher, a mentor, a coach, or a family member who they remembered as “Leader A” with what I can best describe as reverent admiration.
They were often filled with gratitude for the impact that these leaders had on their lives, and many attributed some of their greatest successes in life to these people.

Incidentally, people rarely credited a business leader with “Leader A” status.
The reaction I saw as people recounted their “Leader B” was equally emotionally strong, but often filled with anger.

They shared stories of painful memories that often attributed these leaders with taking joy from their lives and crushing their spirit during a vulnerable time.

Unfortunately, many picked their “Leader B” from professional settings. In the exercise, we then went on to explore and build a list of the traits of both “A and B Leaders.”
 
2 things have stuck with me after doing this exercise over the years:

1. Despite asking this questions to 100s of different people, in different businesses, industries, and cultures; the “A traits” people recalled, as well as their “B Traits, were always remarkably consistent. More on this in upcoming posts.
2. Although people were instantly able to pick an “A & B Leader in their lives,” very few of the people I worked with knew how to answer the final question I asked them which was: “Now how does your team see you? Are you A or B?”

 
The sobering lessons I learned from the compilation of all these conversations are:

1. In leadership, there is no participation trophy. People will remember you as a strong (A) leader or a weak (B) leader.
2. Most people base this assessment on your ability to bring out the best in others.
3. Many of us have a blind spot, or a lack of self-awareness in relation to our own abilities in this area.

Over the next couple weeks, I intend to share some of these “A Traits” with a bit of a twist, but between now and then, I’ll ask you the same questions:
Who is your leader A, who is your leader B, and now… how does your team see you?